How To Start a GSA

So I've been gone for ages... not like you're surprised, amirite? But during that time I've been out and about in the Real World, forming a gay-straight alliance at my school. Here's how it's been:

A long, long time ago--well, last summer at least--I was miles deep in queer & gender theory trying to figure out "what" I was. And I began to get kind of angry that my school didn't have a GSA. It wasn't even that I wanted to be part of one; I just wanted to go to the KIND of school that would have one.

School started up in August. It was confirmed: no GSA existed. Eventually I mentioned it to my old English teacher, and he told me that we used to have one, but it died out when the sponsor retired. He bet me I wouldn't actually start one because I "didn't seem like that kind of person." I was offended, but figured he was right.

The idea never left me though. Meanwhile, an acquaintance was putting together a club herself, so I got to see the process. Finally, I decided that, fuck it, I am going to make the GSA happen, and Fuck anyone who says I can't.

The first step was contacting the principals. My school has about four of them, so I picked out the most liberal and emailed him with a brief, informal proposal for a GSA. He emailed me back a week later. He seemed accepting enough, but he said we had to meet in person to discuss it. The meeting was set up for the next week.

By now it's early December. I bring along my once-conservative friend, "John." We go into the principal's office, and I'm nervous as fuck. I have no idea what to expect. The principal was actually fairly cool about it. Well, cool on the surface; I realized later he was being a douche. He was open to the idea (because he knew we'd sue) but he wanted us to make it a club for ALL marginalized groups ("bury the gay"). I said we'd think about that, and I conceded it could work. He told us we had to write up a formal proposal and find a sponsor, then there would be a meeting with all of the principals & they'd decide to make it official or not.

So I wrote up a proposal. I actually wrote it right after the meeting, but by the time I'd gotten it edited and blessed by my friends, Christmas vacation was approaching. We decided to wait until after break to submit it. No luck finding a sponsor; that English teacher was too busy with family stuff. Whatever--"deal with that later."

January. A week after school resumes, I put the proposal in the principal's school mailbox. He liked it, said it looked good, but we still needed a sponsor before we could move forward.

At this point, we were kind of stuck. No-one knew anyone who wanted to sponsor the club AND had time for it. Before long though, we had a marvelous stroke of luck. I heard someone say that this girl was going around petitioning students for a GSA. Everyone assumed we were connected, although I hadn't known of her until then. I was intrigued.

Immediately after this discovery, my other friend, "Rob," said he'd heard I was starting a GSA--and guess what, so was he. He had enlisted the girl to help him, and they already had a sponsor for us! I was ecstatic. I filled him in on my side of things, and we resolved to go to the principal with joined forces.

I emailed the principal again, telling him we'd found a sponsor, as well as members. He wanted the teacher to tell him personally, so I stopped in and let her know.

We had a couple more nothing-meetings with the principals. The first of which (in early February) was to present ourselves as a unified group and figure out how/when we were actually going to be approved. Apparently, we didn't have to go to that meeting--it was just for the principals and other admin people. After we were approved, we had to have another meeting with a different principal to find out how were allowed to publicize our new group, Spectrum.

By this time it was mid/late February, and we were already having almost weekly meetings--usually just small groups, maybe 5 students each time--to plan out our vision for the club. We (well, I) wrote bylaws, rules, format for meetings, discussion topics--everything. We planned out safe zones and ways to respond to any harassment we'd run into. The sponsor was a big help; she had experience running a GSA at a different school.

We were also starting to plan for Day of Silence, which was 15 April. I registered online and the sponsor asked the principals if they would let students keep silent during class. They took forever getting back to us...

In mid-March, we had our first "real" meeting. Everyone who'd been involved thus far was told to spread the word. We decided to keep it non-threatening and focus on "misconceptions of LGBT+ people" and play get-to-know-you games. About 10 people showed up, including two or three new people. It was pretty awesome. Rob and I led the group in introducing ourselves, we briefly discussed queer things, and then played Apples-to-Apples for a good half-hour or more. I had baked rainbow-frosted cookies, which were a big hit, if I do say so myself. All in all, great start to the club.

After spring break, we had another meeting. We talked about same-sex marriage, and I made a case against it (see: http://queerkidssaynomarriage.wordpress.com/). It was all good fun though. We had a lot of new people, though the total number was still about 10. We set plans for DOS, handed out stickers and speaking cards, made plans to put up posters, all that stuff.

A few days after that meeting, the principals finally responded to our request for DOS. They said we would have to answer if called on in class--basically passing on responsibility to the teachers. URGH. I was furious. DOS was in a week and they were telling us this NOW?! Well, whatever. Nothing to be done.

A member of Spectrum made posters for us, but the principals jerked us around in approving them. By the time they were put up, it was Wednesday.

Nevertheless, DOS was pretty awesome. Most teachers were good about it, and there were no incidents. We had a break-the-silence meeting after school. AND WOW! About 15-20 people showed up, some old, some new. One person I had invited after seeing them participate in DOS earlier that day. I was pumped. It was a little intimidating. I'm not very good at getting people's attention and keeping people on topic, and it only gets harder with a bigger group. But overall, it was amazing. Although people started leaving less than an hour into it, we were still going strong 2 hrs in, when the sponsor had to cut us off so she could go home! The discussion was great. Everyone was so TOGETHER and... just yeah. Wow.

At that moment, I considered my goal of starting a gay-straight alliance complete. I had created a support system not just for myself, but for anyone who needed one. At this point, we will continue to have regular (every 2 weeks) meetings centered on various topics. At the end of this year, we will elect official officers. Next year will be smoother, better. But this year is pretty good itself.

There are several things to take away here:
1. If you want to do something E.G. start a queer club, AT LEAST try. And try hard. You never know how it will work out. At my school, all the pieces just fell into place and it WORKED. You owe it to yourself and all the queer people at your school to at least try.

2. The administration can be douches, but your response is what's important. Don't give up if your principal ignores you, or claims to be too busy, or otherwise makes things difficult. Admins like to use a "pocket veto." They hope you'll just go away, so they don't have to actually make a case against you. (That would give you something to refute.) Just keep pushing, and do so with a smile on your face. Even if it's a fuck-you smile.

3. Start out small. Some people might get discouraged if they go to the first meeting and only a couple of people show up. But this is actually a good thing! As the leader of a club, it's important to be familiar with all the members, so you can be responsive to their needs. Starting out small gives you a chance to get to know everyone personally. Each meeting, a few more people will show up, and eventually, you'll have a grand show going on. But for now, enjoy making a homey, close-knit group.


I guess that's all I have to say. Starting Spectrum has taken a fair amount of work and tonnes of time, but it's well worth it. Looks good on the resume too, haha.

Gender, An Explanation

So despite my last post about hating to come out, I've decided to tell a couple more people about my gender. First on the list is my old English teacher, who is a sort of mentor/father figure to me. He's very tolerant and aware of queer issues, so I'm not worried about him freaking out about it. However, it has made me think about how to define my gender in a way that other (cisgender) people can understand, or at least not be completely confused.

I identify as part of both genderqueer and transgender communities. For me, these are umbrella terms; I usually call myself a "null-gender guy." I am aware that many people would see that as self-contradictory--I myself once thought so. But I am wiser now.

No sane person disputes the existence of transsexuals, so we can conclude that physical sex stands independent of gender. Everyone can also agree that there are cisgender men who are feminine and cisgender women who are masculine. Therefore, we can fairly say that femininity and masculinity (gender roles*) are independent of both physical sex and gender identity.

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*Perhaps the phrase I want is "gender expression" or even "attributes"; this is blurry to me. But that's just semantics. The case stands.
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We also must acknowledge the contrast between two sorts of masculine females--masculine women and masculine transmen. Although both are physically female and adopt the same gender role, their gender identities are different. Gender identity is tricky to explain; it is just an innate feeling of "man," "woman," or something else. Note also that there exists both masculine men and feminine men; gender identity is independent of both physical sex and the gender role.

So, we can now see that physical sex, gender role, and gender identity are not at all codependent, despite the binary "female=feminine=woman" or "male=masculine=man" dogma. Once we stop seeing these aspects as all tied up with each other, gender as a subject becomes much more clear. I'll be the example:

Physical Sex
I am female. I am not male or intersex.

Gender Role
I am null-gender. I am not particularly feminine or masculine. I do not care to label individual aspects of my personality as such.

Gender Identity
I identify as a guy. I am certainly not a woman, but I'm not really a man either. As least where I live, "guy" is used as a fairly neutral descriptor, and it would not be at all odd to greet a group of women with "hey, guys!" Of course, in the singular form, it usually refers to a man, but that works for me. I do feel closer to a man than a woman. And, I think I would feel less social dysphoria if perceived as male. Let's just say that if I were physically male, I wouldn't feel a need to ponder my gender so often. So, "guy" it is.

We can put these individual traits together to form a coherent picture of a person's gender (female/null-gender/guy). Of course the interplay of the individual traits will give rise to an identity greater than the sum of its parts, similar to Myers-Briggs personality types. But it's a start.

Coming out is going to be scary. I get anxious just thinking about it. But now that I can fully articulate my identity, it will be easy for others to understand, and in turn, easier for them to accept. Here's hoping.