I tend to go through cycles of reconsidering my beliefs. One day it'll be my sexuality, then gender, personality type, future goals, etc. Today I began revisiting religions.
I know what I believe, for the most part. I do not believe there is a conscious being that is God, but I admit I could be wrong. I think all living things--people, animals, nature--are all connected in an intrinsic way. I think the same sort of spiritual "energy" is in everything. I think an overarching Truth exists, but that no being can ever actually know it. (And if they did know it, they wouldn't realize it.) I don't think dead people (or animals, etc.) retain any consciousness; rather, I believe their energy melds back into the rest of the universe.
My beliefs are all based on faith; I have no proof. I cannot be expected to have proof. Spirituality is the realm of Fi, I go with what makes sense to me. Perhaps my beliefs sound crazy to someone else, but I might find their views just as strange. Spirituality is personal and subjective. No one's beliefs are right or wrong, as long as they fit the individual person.
That said, you can imagine my opinion of religion. Organized religion is the corruption of spirituality. It takes what should be an intensely personal search and turns it into This Is What We Believe. Religions don't offer people the chance to come to their own conclusions, they tell them what's "right." Some are better than others about this, but essentially all do it.
It pains me to see children being indoctrinated into religions. How will they ever develop spiritually if you hand them "answers" their whole life. "What is a god, anyway?" "Well here, Sally, just read this book, it'll tell you!" And so on.
Nevertheless, I have been searching around for a religion that fits me. I strongly identify with Pantheism, except most of it seems quite... sterile. They have ripped all the spirituality from it in an effort to be perfectly Atheist, but in doing so, they have lost appeal of all-is-god. Unitarian Universalism goes too far the other way. It is infused with paranormal and a jumble of other things. It does not seem to have a set of beliefs, but rather share a quest. This is admirable, but ultimately pointless (for me).
I have looked into a couple Eastern nature-centered religions also. They seem to be exclusive. You can't just believe this stuff, you have to go to a spiritual leader with x qualifications and read this, or else your not a Real Taoist, or whichever it may be. I guess they don't want people confused about what the religion's actually about. Still, you think they could just post it online... I guess that's too modern for religion. Hmph.
Point being that I am once again left with only descriptions: atheist, agnostic, pantheist, new age, UU. But still no unifying, all-encompassing label. Perhaps that is a good thing; I remain free to mold my beliefs as I see fit. If I one day decide that there actually is an afterlife, I can accept that change without worrying about not being a _______ anymore.
As much as I hate religion, I love spirituality. I think it is important for everyone to think about their beliefs (whatever they may be) and adjust them throughout their lives. Whether through prayer, meditation, rituals, or just reflection; everyone needs to engage their spirituality.
Probably my most spiritual experience took place just over a month ago. I was hiking through a nature preserve. The air was crisp, but not cold. I was walking over these rolling hills, everything covered in prarie grass: gold and purple and green. I felt part of it all, the plants, the sky, the sun. It was nature--and it was the most magical thing I'd ever seen.
I know my beliefs could change. In fact, I'd be surprised if they didn't. For now though, I know my views fit me. I hope everyone can break free of the dogmatic religions and find their own, personal beliefs.
