And thankfully, it's almost over. Just a few more hours now of Actual Christmastime. Then the post-holiday cool down. Not too much longer though....
I'm quite ambivalent about Christmas, actually. On the one hand, I shouldn't even being celebrating it. But, you know, I'm still tied to family and must go along with them. Plus, Christmas has become more of a "culture" holiday than a religious one. As far as actually enjoying it, it depends who shows up. My brothers, their spouses, and their dogs? Yes! Excellent! My sister, her husband, and their young children? Not so much.
Let's review:
On Christmas eve the whole extended family got together. Lots of people in one small house, three-quarters of whom dislike? No thanks. Yet there I sat, hours upon hours. I suppose if I enjoyed their chit chat, I might have not been bored out of my mind. As it was, the only break in the monotony was the opening of presents. Not to sound ungrateful, but it was really a waste on all sides. I told people that if they wanted to give me something, let it be money because that's all I need. I don't need (or want, for that matter) socks. Or lotion. Or pajama bottoms that are three inches too long, etc. However, I desperately need a college education, which You could help pay for. But why bother contributing to something that matters, amirite?
Speaking of ridiculously high university costs, my brother-in-law (whom you may remember from a previous post of mine about childfree-ness) tried to convince me to apply for Stanford because if I do well enough, it would be free. All right, let's have a look. What do I want in a college...? Small student body; undergraduates only; neuroscience Bachelors degree; laid-back, yet studious, atmosphere. Okay. The college I'm interested in: check, check, check, and check. Stanford: oh-for-four.
The tricky thing is try to explain just what it is about my preferred institution that makes it so appealing to me. There is no one trait about it, or even a list of traits, that made me decided This Is the One. It just seems to fit me nicely, and the whole attitude there feels right. (Hopefully this is Ne speaking and not, say, Fi.) This feeling is not easy to explain, especially on-the-spot, aloud, and to critical ears. Not being able to properly articulate my connection to this university left me with no argument when BIL took it upon himself to find me a college that met my concrete "checks" and provided generous aid.
Even if I really do need to find a cheaper college, I can't just dump my best find on a whim! I'm sure there are other colleges out there that would have this same feeling for me, but it's kind of like falling in love. For monogamists, you can date all you want, and it's all fun and good. But then you fall in love with someone. You start taking things seriously, and you make the relationship exclusive. Maybe there's more people out there that you could also love, but you don't just keep looking even when you've found a good match!
The analogy isn't perfect, obviously. I do still need back-up colleges to which to apply. The truth of the matter, though, is that I am pretty much set on this one, and I'll work out the cost later. They have financial aid. It's not like BIL's finds are the only places that help you out.
Besides analyzing colleges, I spent Christmas day trying to be sociable and nice. I don't think it worked out very well. I just can't handle people for hours at a time. Whenever I tried to escape into my bedroom the smaller of the two children would follow soon after and start banging on my door. Of course, the parents plainly ignored this. Time "with family" was time spent listening to the sproglings fight, whine, cry, and generally be unpleasant and loud. Even when they're not actually screaming, they are loud. Their voices are loud. Their footsteps are loud. Their toys are loud. Their very presence is loud. I'd get specific about their behavior, but I really don't think I'm ready to relive all those moments... :shudder:. Let's just say, I'm glad they left early.
Of course the holidays weren't all bad. I indulged in sweets and got Half Blood Prince on DVD. The college debate rekindled my love for my preferred institution. I guess even having sprog here just served to remind me why I will never make children a part of my life. Nevertheless, I'm glad it's over now. Once a year might be too often.
