I don't talk. I might speak occasionally, but never do I actually talk to anyone, at any time. If I have something important that requires "talking," I write it down and e-mail, mail, or even just hand it to whomever needs to know.
I have no problem with my system of silence. It is in my nature to keep superfluous thoughts to myself. (Also why I post so rarely here.) Small talk is boring and unnecessary, and interesting subjects are too hard to explain to people. I'm not going to teach someone astrophysics in the small hope that they'd then want to discuss the shape of space.
My Dear Mother does not seem to understand why I am not constantly engaging her in conversation. Just this afternoon she was berating me about it--saying how I will fail life because I can't come up with a continuous stream of irrelevant remarks and questions. I told her plainly, I just don't like to talk much; it's nothing personal. And she said, I know. She doesn't know.
Everything I do, she takes as an attack against her. If I wait too long to do my laundry I'm "testing her patience." If I stay in my room I'm "avoiding her." If I go outside I'm still "avoiding her." If I'm near her and not talking, there must be something wrong with me, because why else would I not give her a live feed to my thoughts?
She thinks it's weird that we live together and don't have daily chats. Look, ma, I'm not being quiet to piss you off; this is just how I am. If you want to tell me something, go right ahead, but you can't expect me to pull topics out of thin air and then find an appropriate segue. She's not even extraverted!
All right then, I will fail life. Sadly, I don't care. I'm not going to force awkward, pointless conversations to please anyone, let alone my Dear Mother, whom I would've hoped would have learned to be comfortable with my silence by now. I guess she'll get it eventually. I'll be gone in another couple years either way.
This situation is just one more case of the stigma loners carry. You're not talking--you're either stupid or depressed or a future mass murderer. How many jobs have been lost because the employee wasn't "friendly" (ie talkative) enough? How many relationships have broken up because one partner was "antisocial"?
People think loners need to just pick up some social skills and start talking--problem fixed! The real question is, why is being a loner even considered a problem? Maybe people hear our silence, our refusal to participate in mundane niceties, and realize just how pointless their conversations are. No one likes to be judged, so they lash out, criticizing the loner's innate personality. Surprisingly, this tactic doesn't make the loner talk.
I am a loner. I am quiet and private. These traits leave me disinclined to speak. I don't have a problem with it; I wish others could get over it too.
